'Tis the Season - There's always some truth in sarcasm

For Christ’s Sake
Franklin, TN plans ‘War on Christmas’ memorial

Excerpted from the Nashville Scene's "The Fabricator" column.

The black granite facade of the Vietnam Veterans’ Memorial in Washington, D.C., may soon have a look-alike companion in Franklin, Tenn., dedicated to the victims of the “War on Christmas.”

The National War on Christmas Memorial Foundation is seeking funds to build a memorial across Highway 96 from the Confederate Dixie Rebel Acres subdivision on the outskirts of Franklin.

“We’re going to carve on it the names of all the people and groups who have lost their displays and celebrations in the War on Christmas,” says Frank C. King, who heads the memorial foundation.

“We’re going to get the names of all those poor cashiers who have to parrot ‘Happy Holidays’ at shoppers instead of wishing them a hearty ‘Merry Christmas,’ and carve them here. We’re going to get the names of the people who wish they could see a big illuminated baby Jesus on the steps of the courthouse and carve them here. This is going to be big.”

The foundation hopes to raise $1.5 million for the memorial during this holiday season, begin construction in the spring and have it ready to open by next Thanksgiving.“We’re hoping to have Bill O’Reilly here to do the ribbon-cutting,” King says. “We’re even hoping he may do his FOX News show from here in front of it. Wouldn’t that be great?”

Most news programs show steep declines in viewership during the holiday season due to parties and family gatherings. For the past couple of years, O’Reilly has boosted sagging ratings during this period by ginning up the War on Christmas theme. He typically locates isolated examples of overzealous efforts of inclusiveness and weaves a specious narrative of Christmas under siege nationwide.

“The National War on Christmas Memorial could be a year-round boon to tourism around here,” King says with enthusiasm. “Nobody alive remembers the Civil War, but we all remember the War on Christmas. I can see those out-of-state SUVs with Jesus fish on the back pouring in here now.”