Free Hugs Campaign. (music by Sick Puppies.net album out)

For you. to keep for a rainy day. To remind you. Sometimes a simple thing is the best thing.

Snow, polls, and the Huckleberry Hounders

And it snowed and snowed and snowed....so much so that the 'Abster' had to donn her vest and get the snorkel out...no lie...they were calling for 3-6 inches and we got like eleventy EFN million- OK slight exaggeration, but we got at least a foot. What means this? Plus I can't EFN remember EVER having this much snow before Christmas!! Not even as a youngun! M.I.A. has been working 'round the clock and good EFN thing as that would mean that at least ONE of us is getting an EFN paycheck! "Mamma's, don't let your babies grow up to be Realtors"... And while I'm on a roll- I'm about EFN tired of picking up the GD phone to answer political polls. While they can be entertaining at first (August) and make you feel smart and important, blah,blah,blah, they start to wear a little EFN thin in the last week of December- so if everyone would just GODDAMN VOTE in the first place I, as a NH resident, wouldn't be forced to endure these hideously presented questions, complete with mispronounciations! And you know what? I could hardly give a RATS ASS that Mike EFN Hucklberry Finn got junkfood out of public schools! I'm more concerned about him keeping JESUS out of the Primary...Where the EF do I live? Ala-fuckin-bama? No I Do Not! And would someone PLEASE tell Obama to eat an EFN sandwich! How the flippin' Christ does he expect to get elected if he weighs LESS than the average female in this EFN country(which in itself is a SAD EFN statement!) What the EFN EF? Oh the wailing....I would add more but I'm tired from groveling, I mean shoveling and it should be painfully obvious to all that I'm on the short end of good EFN will to mankind today. I cashed in that chip at about, oh eight o'clock, when I picked up the phone to take an AUTOMATED POLL for flippin christ's sake (yes, of course I took it! What do you think I am?) ...who the EF thinks this shit up? If I've said it once, I've said it eleventy million times...HEY. Keep your stupid to yourself!

The shovelin' EFN Torque Wrench

So....as you can see with your own eyes, a good time was had by all at the Annual Yankee Swap at Louise's house...as M.I.A. was barreling out the door for a MUCH needed smoke, he managed to back my ass into the stairs, which of course made me fall, to the happiness and delight of all present and what you see scattered on the rug, floor, my pants and hands, would be the remnants of my practically famous and quite tasty bleu cheese cups, which I was serving a fresh plate of 'hostess style'. Ah. Nothing says "family gathering" like someone falling on their ass! Please note that all this was accomplished 'sans' alchohol, unlike the time I took out the bass player at that club in the "old Port" whilst partaking in MUCH MERRIMENT and doing a super cool dance move which managed to somehow catapult me into the speaker by the stage, taking the bass player out 'thusly'...good times, good times! I believe that was also the night that Ro Mo Ho and I took advantage of the new "tipsy taxi" service (free ride for those too hammered to drive their own cars home-we didn't arrive in a car-we walked to the bar, but hey) and were broadsided at the first intersection we came to by - you guessed it- a DRUNK DRIVER! But that my friends, is another story for another day! Bon soir, mon petit chou!

IT'S SNOWY AND MY DOG IS MENTAL

HELLOOO from the SNOWY North East...The dog, she gets mental!

HUH

So I'm thinking the person who made this neon sign got more than one laugh...They don't mince words in BROOKLYN

Well, hidee ho ho ho from the BAT CAVE...amazing the things you find when dragging out the Christmas decorations...why imagine this perfectly good BATMAN mask just pining away, forgotten on a shelf. Sheesh. And don't tell me that Lady Liberty should hide her light under a barrel...well, maybe we have an argument for that one given recent disgraceful events around the world...especially CUBA, but hey, getting back to the Christmas decorations....as you can see from the photos, I'm doing just about everything possible to avoid the yuletide spirit- call it willful on my part, I DON'T CARE, but I'm just not feeling it! And please, could someone call the networks and have the Beyonce ( Bee on say) Direct TV ad removed immediately! She and that gold dress are drivin' me EFN mental- upgrade this, you twinkie.

On a happy note, the collective "skids" will be woefully disappointed in my gift-giving this year as I'm sending a DVD that they will watch about children in Africa (What the EF? Why do I have to watch some gaylord movie about kids in Africa, as if) and I will also send a cd with hand picked songs that they will no doubt COMPLETELY miss the point of, but again, I DON'T CARE! I'm not buying crap this year- just making it! HA

I wish I could write, or show, or draw how big my feelings are for you all...my little tethers to the earth. Without you I'm not sure what I would do. I hope you all know in your huge hearts that I love you to the moon and beyond, beyond eternity and back again, to the very center of what makes me who I am. Love Ya

PS I saw 4 more people today who deserved a " HEY. Keep your stupid to yourself" shirt...slow day

The Penis Tree

I must say...Torky got quite a chuckle out of the recent posting by Rainking of The Penis Tree! *See pic below* Now if that doesn't warm the 'cock'les of your heart, I don't know what does. Juvenile, I know, yet...BAAHAAAAA- and quite frankly after the thankless last two weeks that I've been through, I need a little sumpin' to put the spring back in my step


Love you all madly and beyond the mere measure of time,

The EFN torque wrench

World's Largest Woodpecker