For Christ’s Sake
Franklin, TN plans ‘War on Christmas’ memorial
Excerpted from the Nashville Scene's "The Fabricator" column.
The black granite facade of the Vietnam Veterans’ Memorial in Washington, D.C., may soon have a look-alike companion in Franklin, Tenn., dedicated to the victims of the “War on Christmas.”
The National War on Christmas Memorial Foundation is seeking funds to build a memorial across Highway 96 from the Confederate Dixie Rebel Acres subdivision on the outskirts of Franklin.
“We’re going to carve on it the names of all the people and groups who have lost their displays and celebrations in the War on Christmas,” says Frank C. King, who heads the memorial foundation.
“We’re going to get the names of all those poor cashiers who have to parrot ‘Happy Holidays’ at shoppers instead of wishing them a hearty ‘Merry Christmas,’ and carve them here. We’re going to get the names of the people who wish they could see a big illuminated baby Jesus on the steps of the courthouse and carve them here. This is going to be big.”
The foundation hopes to raise $1.5 million for the memorial during this holiday season, begin construction in the spring and have it ready to open by next Thanksgiving.“We’re hoping to have Bill O’Reilly here to do the ribbon-cutting,” King says. “We’re even hoping he may do his FOX News show from here in front of it. Wouldn’t that be great?”
Most news programs show steep declines in viewership during the holiday season due to parties and family gatherings. For the past couple of years, O’Reilly has boosted sagging ratings during this period by ginning up the War on Christmas theme. He typically locates isolated examples of overzealous efforts of inclusiveness and weaves a specious narrative of Christmas under siege nationwide.
“The National War on Christmas Memorial could be a year-round boon to tourism around here,” King says with enthusiasm. “Nobody alive remembers the Civil War, but we all remember the War on Christmas. I can see those out-of-state SUVs with Jesus fish on the back pouring in here now.”
Friday, November 30, 2007
New car fever taken to new heights!!
Sandy Wong gets turned on by expensive and classic cars, motorcycles and women with big feet and really likes to expose himself in public.
Unfortunately, the 45-year-old Edmonton man’s sexual deviancy has led to him “pleasuring” himself while sitting on the roof of cars, including a BMW on display at the Home and Garden Show at the Northlands Agricom.
Court heard Wong was observed checking out three BMW vehicles on display at the BMW display at the Home and Garden Show on March 22. Then, he was seen sitting on the roof of a 2007 BMW 328i sedan, valued at $50,000.
Shortly after that, Wong had dropped his sweat pants to his ankles and was spotted masturbating while sitting with his legs dangling over the driver’s door window.
Security eventually detained Wong until police showed up and a clean-up crew had to wash down the BMW.
According to psychiatrist Dr. Curtis Woods, Wong says he is “sexually attracted” to the BMW’s roof top because “it’s curved like a woman’s body, the sex appeal, it felt good.”
Woods said Wong reported he also gets aroused by certain cars, including a 1967 Camaro and a 1955 Chevy Bel Air, and blames the owners for buying the cars because it tempts him to “pleasure” himself.
Court heard Wong was also arrested May 24 for jumping on a 2005 MiniCooper outside the downtown Boston Pizza, dropping his pants and proceeding to “tuck, rub and bounce his naked genitalia” on the hood of the car.
He also admitted climbing onto the roof of a 1991 Buick Century parked at the rear of a south-side home, taking off his clothes and masturbating on June 12.
Unfortunately, the 45-year-old Edmonton man’s sexual deviancy has led to him “pleasuring” himself while sitting on the roof of cars, including a BMW on display at the Home and Garden Show at the Northlands Agricom.
Court heard Wong was observed checking out three BMW vehicles on display at the BMW display at the Home and Garden Show on March 22. Then, he was seen sitting on the roof of a 2007 BMW 328i sedan, valued at $50,000.
Shortly after that, Wong had dropped his sweat pants to his ankles and was spotted masturbating while sitting with his legs dangling over the driver’s door window.
Security eventually detained Wong until police showed up and a clean-up crew had to wash down the BMW.
According to psychiatrist Dr. Curtis Woods, Wong says he is “sexually attracted” to the BMW’s roof top because “it’s curved like a woman’s body, the sex appeal, it felt good.”
Woods said Wong reported he also gets aroused by certain cars, including a 1967 Camaro and a 1955 Chevy Bel Air, and blames the owners for buying the cars because it tempts him to “pleasure” himself.
Court heard Wong was also arrested May 24 for jumping on a 2005 MiniCooper outside the downtown Boston Pizza, dropping his pants and proceeding to “tuck, rub and bounce his naked genitalia” on the hood of the car.
He also admitted climbing onto the roof of a 1991 Buick Century parked at the rear of a south-side home, taking off his clothes and masturbating on June 12.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Crazy Russian Credit Card Stealers
Miss Mary Smack:
Of course you realize that company you get your music from is Russian which has like the highest crime rate in the industrialized world not to mention probably like a gazillion boiler room internet credit card rip-off centers.....
Any freaky activity on your account? I want to buy a Lee Margan album (listen to The Sidewinder sample--it is awesome-Liz wants it bad...
Torque Wrench replies:
Must you send me this information about the whole Russian 'sweatroom' credit card stealer people (which I saw on 20/20) and how this music site is Russian and now I have to add this to my hideously long list of things to obsess about until my head hurts because I obviously have a brain tumor from having to talk on my EFN dumbass phone constantly! Are you trying to drive me mad woman? Plus, no I haven't noticed any UNUSUAL activity on my card but by CHRIST I will now have to check to be sure even though I just paid my card today- which reminds me that the music account is on my debit card so good EFN luck to the CHUMP that tries to go to town on that one! He/she might, and I stress might, be able to score a pair of socks, a gallon of milk and a carton of floorsweepin' cigarettes before that GRAVYTRAIN winds down. HA
GOT TO GO
T.W.
FYI...did you know that you can now LOCK your credit?? Yes indeed you can. Probably the single thing that Congress has done in the past 7 years that actually is worth a 'EF'...of course, should you desire more or new credit you must "unlock" it for a small fee and a few days delay, but that's so smart I can't believe I didn't think of it!
Of course you realize that company you get your music from is Russian which has like the highest crime rate in the industrialized world not to mention probably like a gazillion boiler room internet credit card rip-off centers.....
Any freaky activity on your account? I want to buy a Lee Margan album (listen to The Sidewinder sample--it is awesome-Liz wants it bad...
Torque Wrench replies:
Must you send me this information about the whole Russian 'sweatroom' credit card stealer people (which I saw on 20/20) and how this music site is Russian and now I have to add this to my hideously long list of things to obsess about until my head hurts because I obviously have a brain tumor from having to talk on my EFN dumbass phone constantly! Are you trying to drive me mad woman? Plus, no I haven't noticed any UNUSUAL activity on my card but by CHRIST I will now have to check to be sure even though I just paid my card today- which reminds me that the music account is on my debit card so good EFN luck to the CHUMP that tries to go to town on that one! He/she might, and I stress might, be able to score a pair of socks, a gallon of milk and a carton of floorsweepin' cigarettes before that GRAVYTRAIN winds down. HA
GOT TO GO
T.W.
FYI...did you know that you can now LOCK your credit?? Yes indeed you can. Probably the single thing that Congress has done in the past 7 years that actually is worth a 'EF'...of course, should you desire more or new credit you must "unlock" it for a small fee and a few days delay, but that's so smart I can't believe I didn't think of it!
freaky squirrel men jumpers
WHAT THE EF???? A rush? I guess...maybe for a fletardo! and what's with the little "flying squirrel" outfit? (see Rainkings video) How many times do I have to say it??? THERE JUST AIN'T NO ACCOUNTIN' FOR STUPID IN THIS WORLD...plus I'm fairly chicken when it comes to heights, or I should say heights that I'm supposed to 'fling' myself off of, which is why you will NEVER see me dumbunji jumping off anything and after the hideous "Six Flaggs Disaster of 2007"( the snapping of the cable on the Tower of Doom which sliced that poor girls legs off for Jumping Jesus Sake!) I have permanently sworn off amusement rides for all of eternity, well...except for maybe the SUPERMAN ROLLER COASTER which RULES!!!!
OVER AND OUT
THE EFN VOICE OF REASON
UDDERWIZE KNOWN AS "TORQUESTER"
OVER AND OUT
THE EFN VOICE OF REASON
UDDERWIZE KNOWN AS "TORQUESTER"
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Crazy Base Jumpers
This is crazy, but awesome. These guys are nuts, but this has to be a tremendous rush!! Check it out: http://www.biertijd.com/mediaplayer/?itemid=4262
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
two dogs from Jersey
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It should be painfully obvious to the viewers that these mutts have been up to something. Note how they try to hypnotise the photographer with their beady eyes...
That's what I'm talking' 'bout
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This is what dogs look like when they live in Jersey. Note the menancing offsett jaw and the "Come any closer and I'll tear your EFN eyes out ya bum, ya" steely-eyed gaze...Do I have to tell you that this dog's name is Chico? Didn't snink sno.
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